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You know who

I'm sorry you are having to explain your writing...if you need to vent, you know who you can email (sorry I left my name out, but you're a smart cookie, you know who I am). Unfortunately being the oldest pretty much sucks all the way around!


Aww crap...Thanks for you faith in me, but this means I have to send emails to the five people I think it could be asking them if they are the ones who left this comment.


Ohmigaw - Benicio Del Toro is TOTALLY leaving you comments.


Now THAT would be awesome in one way, but sucky in another, because it means that the commenter is related to me...and that would make my fantasies just plain illegal.



Gee, I would be honored just to be mentioned in your blog, especially if it was pointing out one of my weaknesses. But then again, I'm not family. Family always takes things way too personally and never really allows us the freedom from those restraints that we seek.

Over my life, I have seen a person's life dramatically changed by the relationship, or lack thereof, to family. It is sad, and personally painful. But I've realized it is not for me to solve, no matter what the cost. I have my own family issues to work on. And all I can say, there is nothing more valuable in this world then family. They are, in any case, your first and last line of defense against the hurt the world can sometimes dish out.


Just a side note.... being the youngest sucks too.


I'm not arguing that being the youngest is a cake walk--it's just that at this point in my and my siblings' lives, the age difference/generation gap is often HUGE. I'm so much older than they are, my interests are totally different, and we don't have much in common outside of a gene pool.

I don't think, however, that I'm the only one of us that has fantasies about being closer--we just don't know how to go about doing that yet. I might be just thinking of this on too elementary a level, but in my mind I keep chosing to believe that sometime in the next five years we might be on a more even playing field, have more common interests and things to talk about, and build upon those things to get past the whole birth order crap that started making it difficult to relate to one another right about the time I started to become an adult (we're going on about 15 years right now of that distance, and it sucks ass).


The most brutal honesty usually comes from the people who know themselves and their foibles most intensely. The truth hurts sometimes, for the teller and the hearer. Being able to accept truth is a mark of maturity, obviously, but so is being able to tell it. No one likes to hear that their behavior is (insert adjective here), but when you love someone, you want to save them--from dire peril, self-destructiveness, etc. If that means saying things they don't want to hear, and forcing them to look in a mirror at things they would rather ignore, well, it sucks and it's uncomfortable, but you do it. The main points are: 1) you love them, and 2) you told the truth. You can't build a real relationship without both.

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