The last few weeks of planning this wedding have been brutal, at least for me. I have single-handedly wrangled the finances, frequently reporting to my significant other the costs of each item down to the penny. I have surprised him many times with throwing out numbers in a Rainmanesque manner--$157.50, $78.34, $710. 65--when he says in passing conversation to someone, like my father, that he doesn't know how much something has cost us. You get the picture.
Most of these sets of numbers are absolute, like the dress, the church fee, and the tux. Some of these sets, always the more expensive, are variable dependent upon how many people come to the wedding, what kind of food and drink we provide, and whatever stupid bowls we can find in which to float flowers. These numbers are the ones which are freaking me out the most, because they seem to be climbing exponentially. I keep telling myself that the numbers are increasing due to my fiancee's love, but it's not really helping me stifle the urge to go homicidal on someone.
My most lovingly devoted fiancee has watched me struggle with the numbers for the past three months, totally on my own. He looks at me with a blank smile sometimes when I'm sharing the latest update with him. Then he leaves the room to go sand the walls, scrape the tub, or some other such thing involving power tools. He comes back later, pokes his head in, and wonders aloud why I have "that look" on my face again.
Because he knows exactly how much fun I've been having wrestling with these numbers by cutting out things I might otherwise have wanted for the wedding (including a veil and a honeymoon), and because he appreciates my creative financing abilities, he has helped me by continuing to invite people to the wedding. He wants to surprise me with his love so much so that he invites these people without even asking me first.
The other night, after inviting yet another two people, he actually had the nerve to tell me that "we" need to look at the budget and that "we" need to curtail inviting more people. I told him that HE needed to go to my computer and HE needed to look at the most recent version of the budget where he would see everything I had already told him (on Sunday, during a meltdown). Then he gave me the familiar blank stare. And he left the room.
So now I go to his blog and read "Jen and I agreed that the cutoff has arrived, meaning that even if the Almighty shows up at the front door with a gift-wrapped blender, we're going to have to turn him away."
The Almighty has been here twice already and I have turned him away. Because I know that if I invited The Great I Am to the wedding, that it would be more than just paying for His plate. We would also have to get a bigger cake, we would also have to get a bigger tent, and we would certainly have to pay additional for His Jack and Cokes.
Not that I don't want to invite Him, mind you. I just don't know which bank I'm going to have to knock off so that I can pay for the wedding that we obviously have in mind.
Apologies. (see link)
Posted by: bill | March 24, 2004 at 02:08 PM
okay, i have a certain bottle of something that i'd like to share with both of you just to take the edge off the old wedding planning and the other issues you are struggling with. Really, take a deep breath, relax and just let me know what you need.
Posted by: rob | March 25, 2004 at 12:28 AM